May 2013
metaphorically:
i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
thebatteur:
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
nicevagina:
the only people that don’t like rough sex are people that have never had rough sex
Watchwhatevachild:
This video ruined my life
jimmyjamjimjohn:
rubywhiterabbit:
One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
charmancler:
i’m not even funny what am i doing on this website
Status: Rain! :)
Older person on Facebook: Us too, so badly needed as well. Tell your mom I said hi. How is the family? Tell everyone hi from us. We miss you all so much. Wish we could be there. You're a beautiful young woman.
Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
Dumbledore: 30 points go to Griffindor for Harry's breathing techniques
iwillfucknepeta:
pimpeta-slap:
mrv4n1ll4m1lksh4k3:
pimpeta-slap:
Who came up with kissing? Seriously? Did 2 people one day accidentally bash heads together and went like, “Oh… That was nice” *violently bashes head together again* “This should be a thing”
kissing is a method of exchanging saliva (and thus DNA) to determine whether or not you would want to reproduce with that person
...
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
squidnship:
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.
There’d be dragons everywhere. Dragons have to eat. We’d all be dead.
we’d arrange sacrifices of humans
starting with you
tardisheart:
DO YOU EVER WANNA TALK ABOUT A THING SO MUCH YOU’RE GONNA EXPLODE BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE THING SO YOU CAN’T AND JUST WOW! LET! ME! TALK! ABOUT! THE! THING!
tushi:
why is the news breaking. who broke it. how much are repairs
freeshawarmas:
jehovas-witness:
internetexplorers:
cheese3d:
nothings worse than soft grapes
soft apples
soft dicks
☾☻soft grunge blog☻☽
leftforanewworld:
bebroom:
not much discussion of bagpipes on this web site
someone played amazing grace on bagpipes at my uncle’s funeral and I cried more than I did through the rest of the funeral.
efferescent:
remember when a girl from my school wore a dress the same color as the green screen at prom
oh yes
her date did too
wurnbo:
did i allow u to have fun without me
Watchcelestialpussy:
tommoshomos:
lukey-pookeys-curls:
i choked on my water
it’S BACK
YAY IT’S BACK
I’d kiss a rat on the mouth quicker than I’d kiss a dog or person on the mouth
If someone were to kill me, I would want Jeff the killer to do it
falloutyoungmale:
I write sins not five page research papers
cockchomp:
you will not make me feel bad about being quiet you will not make me feel bad about my body you will not make me feel bad about stumbling over my words you will not make me feel bad about being nervous you will not make me feel bad about not knowing everything you will not make me feel bad about having a sense of humor that you don’t get you will not make me feel bad about being tired...
